It’s easier for me to buy a book than to remove one from my personal library.
If you’re like me, you have several TBR (to be read) piles of books stacked around the house. I have one on the downstairs bookcase, another two on the desk upstairs, and a final one on an unused chair tucked into the dining room table.
So many amazing books out there. I find a suggestion on a subreddit. I get an email from an indie press about an upcoming release. My trip to my favorite local bookstore to pick up one book leads to an armful.
My enthusiasm for books is healthy and helps define my place in the world, especially in a culture where so many people are forgetting the joy of reading.
But with my bookish ways also come with a problem.
My shelves are overflowing. More than half a century of buying books means I simply do not have enough space for all the books I’ve bought. Luckily, the county library system runs a fantastic used bookstore and I’m regularly dropping off books while trying to keep a ratio of donating 3-5 books for every one that I pick up on that same trip.
So while I am good at donating books to clear up my shelf space, it’s becoming increasingly difficult as I’ve gotten rid of the easier to get rid of books: the duplicates, the outdated technical books, the hiking guides.
But I’ve also found pockets of resistance from my books.
A book by a famous author is hard to get rid of. If you’re like me, you’ve picked up a book by an author who is highly praised and when you read the book, you’re left incredibly underwhelmed. You think maybe you didn’t get it. You’re not savvy enough in the genre. You didn’t read it deeply enough. So you buy another book by that author and this time you get 50 pages in and you toss it back on the shelf. And instead of donating that book later, you hold onto it thinking maybe some day, you’ll return to it and like it and fit into the masses of reader. But you know that will never happen.
A recently bought book is hard to get rid of. Sometimes I will buy a book, read it right away, and thoroughly not enjoy it. But instead of adding it to the donation bag right away. I’ll hold onto it. With a recently purchased book, it holds the dollar value and even though I’ve read it, it carries with it a value, and a financial loss associated with it. This does not make sense since the money was already spent. But somehow the closer to the time of the purchase makes the idea of donating it more difficult. I feel like I spent my money poorly on a wrong choice, and it feels like an acknowledgement of wasteful spending to get rid of it.
A book that was a gift is hard to get rid of. Don’t get me wrong, I love when people buy me books. However, I also grit my teeth and hide my eye roll when I unwrap the paper to find a book that is something I won’t even crack open because the genre is so far afield from my current writing interests. But somehow those books still gather dust for years because they hold the value of having been gifted.
A book that represents a past me is hard to get rid of. Our lives are defined by our reading experience. From the early picture books, to the fantasy stories of my youth, to the books about how to write, to the classics and modern masters, to my recent deep dive into horror and the weird. In so many ways, the books we’ve read over the years track our lives. So when we are holding a book, weighing it in hand over the donation bag, reluctance rises. This book meant something in the past. It helped define a period of our lives. It became part of our identity. And even if it is not our favorite book, it carries some nostalgia and we hold onto it, indecisive, unwilling to let go of that past self.
Books are so much more than words printed on a page. They hold emotional values.
And while it can be challenging to thin out a personal library, I believe getting rid of books can help us better understand ourselves and recognize the unseen forces that shape our behavior and actions.
Do we hold onto a book because we want to belong? Do we not donate the book because we are afraid of financial loss? Is guilt associated with saying goodbye to a book? Does nostalgia clutter our lives?
Letting go of a book is so much more than the act of putting it into a donation bag. It’s an emotional exploration and a time for self-reflection.
And it’s amazing to realize that the life of a book attaches itself to our own lives. We all recognize the desire to buy a book and the immersive emotions while we read. But letting books go is also an emotional journey and one we should all welcome.
Books are about growth and becoming and letting go is part of that experience too.
What books do you struggle with letting go?
